What money can do
Money can’t buy friends,
but it can get you a better class of enemy.
Spike Milligan
11 May 2008
10 May 2008
Bringing love into your community
The ability for an intimate relationship and an open and fair dispute forms the core for a co-operation within larger circles of people. The perspective on the social level expands from the cell of the pair relationship or family to the social orders, which furthers the social well-being of all.
Through your abilities, your engagement or your love, you strengthen your neighbourhood, your job or organization, which you have joined. You work together on goals, which serve the preservation of life and the common whole.
If true love means to you, that the other should mother and protect you, you will on this level look for a community that might fulfil your needs. This even more so if a couple relationships has not satisfied you. The community becomes a mother substitute.
Instead of synergy you experience the fight around attention, lack of respect for other community members, hidden power struggles, and the defence of privileges.
Of course, to be able to bring the best of you to your community, you need to develop the love for yourself on the physical and personal level.
If you didn’t get the first two parts of this article, go here for the full version
or check out the Ebook ‘Beyond Suffering’ that explores all the levels of love and how to bring it into your life
09 May 2008
Improve your self esteem
Is your self esteem low? Are you not living up to your potential?
Then let’s have a look at the messages that you received as a child.
The way how you see yourself is closely related to the way how your parents, peers and teachers saw you when you were a child.
The messages that you received may have been so strong that they seemed like the truth. I will list the statements that are popular in our culture.
In the following, MARK THE STATEMENTS THAT HAVE AN EFFECT ON YOU when you read it now. You can choose between a strong, medium or low effect. If there is no effect just leave it open
You can’t do that
You aren’t good enough
You’ll never make it
Who do you think you are?
Don’t rock the boat
Others know/are better than you
Play life safe
If you want to be loved, earn it first
If you would just be like ,
You can’t trust life/people
Don’t! It’s dangerous/too risky/unsafe
Why try/ Why bother/ It’s no good
Life is just a struggle/ is meaningless
It’s your entire fault
You are too much
Have a look at the list. How many did you mark? How do you feel about it? How often is your inner voice now giving you these messages?
Did you notice how the energy just drops down when you hear anything like that? Every time your inner voice is repeating these old messages, your energy will drop down and you will feel depressed.
Such sentences weaken the body-mind-system, no matter if others say them to you or if you now repeat them to yourself. For the brain and your organism, it doesn’t make any difference. This is the bad news.
The good news is: You can change those messages. They are not the truth although they may feel like it when you look at your life’s experience. The world will reflect back to you what you believe about yourself. And that’s equally true for depressive and life-enhancing beliefs.
Believe, me, THE KEY TO CHANGE YOUR EXPERIENCES IS not out there. It’s IN YOU. It’s in the way how you see life.
I want you to see life at its very best. This will not only make your life better but have a positive impact on all of us. We are all connected.
You wonder how? Read more in my Ebook ‘Beyond Suffering.‘ You can get a taste of it on my site
And here you get access to a free course to improve your self esteem
08 May 2008
Why it is so hard to change?
Forty years of research, work with thousands of people from all over the world and a lifelong experience of Selfgrowth and transformation have taught me that many people resist doing what would be good for them.
This resistance has many reasons. There are three major reasons that I have come across
1. Christian values program you for suffering.
They are so deeply rooted that they are hard to see and even harder to overcome.
My Ebook “Beyond Suffering” gives you deep insights why we are so stuck on suffering
2. The faster, the better. Our consumer society trains you for ‘quickies’.
In my experience, changing deep-rooted beliefs and habits cannot be done in minutes. It takes a focused and continuous effort.
The Ebook provides the tools how to build your physical and inner strength so that you develop the necessary stamina to move beyond suffering.
3. Our medical and psychotherapeutic system are based on Newtonian principles.
Have you ever wondered why all your work on the physical, emotional and mental level hasn’t really changed basic patterns in your life?
The reason is that energetic patterns hold physical symptoms, emotional disturbances and negative belief systems in place.
For basic shifts to happen your body-mind-system needs rewiring so that all your work gets integrated and synthesised on a higher level of frequency.
The Ebook provides the understanding and the tools how to shift the resonance with life-depleting energy patterns and create a higher level of coherence that we experience as well-being, joy and fulfilment
Christian values, consumer values and Newtonian principles for our health are the bad news.
The good news is: We got other choices.
You want to know which ones? Read more
07 May 2008
How to overcome co-dependency
How can you break this vicious cycle and overcome codependency?
First, make your needs and interests your priority. What do you need to do to be good to yourself, to love yourself, to appreciate the good things in you and in your life?
Start to take stock in the people you have surrounded yourself with. Are they as concerned with your needs and feelings as you are with theirs? You may need to detach yourself from some of these people, maybe even your partnership at least until you have taken time to start taking care of yourself.
Learn to say No when you mean No. Practice setting up boundaries that are firm and flexible. Saying No can be as easy as just not answering the phone.
Romance, alcohol, drugs and sex are not appropriate tools for overcoming co-dependency or filling your inner emptiness. Instead, focus on enjoying the single life, as you develop a wide variety of interests and activities, meet people, and make new friends. With interests, activities and a good network of friends and acquaintances, the inner emptiness and the painful longing will cease.
If you need support, here is a range of optionsfor you how to get there:
Get the free course on how to improve your self-esteem.
If you love to learn through books, here are two choices
The pocket book version: Growing through Joy
The ebook version: Beyond Suffering
If you want a professional back-up, I offer a distance course on love starting Tuesday. May 13
Check here for
06 May 2008
Living a happy and healthy life
Never continue in a job you don’t enjoy.
If you’re happy in what you’re doing,
you’ll like yourself,
you’ll have inner peace.
And if you have that,
along with physical health,
you will have had more success
than you could possibly have imagined.
Johnny Carson
To find that inner peace, we need to change the resonance with life depleting attitudes and feelings that were passed on through culture and childhood experiences.
I use my fourty years of training to change those resonances within distance courses that focus on Selfgrowth, money, love, health, stress and life in general.
Within the courses I cover a broad spectrum of topics: working with your vision and life’s purpose, low self esteem, stress, health problems, mental strains, relationship issues, conflicts within your job, difficult life circumstances, or a general sense of not being able to enjoy life.
The courses are tailor made to suit the needs of the participants.
Distance courses work with wave patterns that reach beyond time and space. Personal presence is not required to fully benefit from it.
You can read how others benefitted from these distance courses
Check here for
more information on the themes
for background information on the procedure, feedback and research results
05 May 2008
Co-dependency is the result of frustrated needs in childhood
Co-dependency is the result of frustrated needs in childhood
Basic needs like being nurtured, protected and appreciated were neglected, boundaries invaded through abuse, self-expression discouraged or punished. This neglect of primal needs then become the obsession of the adult who longs for their fulfilment in every close relationship.
The deep need to be saved from the inner loneliness and emptiness is projected on to another person, usually an addict in an attempt to save ‘him’. Needless to say, that her attempt to save the ‘helpless him’ or to endlessly support the ‘busy important ones’ is prone to fail which then increases her frustration, anger, disappointment, guilt and low self worth.
Do you recognise any of this? Do you feel a deep need to be saved from inner loneliness and emptiness?
This deep need can turn into a desperate, needy search for a romance that makes you vulnerable for being used by people. This neediness will draw partners into your life that want to have their needs fulfilled and will have little concern for your feelings or needs.
You may also find yourself projecting this need on to another person, usually an addict in an attempt to save ‘him’. Saving ‘him’ will not solve your problem. In the opposite: If you stay long enough in an unfulfilling relationship you become accustomed to unhappy situations, which then again will make you an easy target for being used.
How can you break this vicious cycle and overcome codependency?
If you look for self help, check out the free course
or the Ebook ‘Beyond Suffering’
There is also a distanct course on love starting Tuesday. May 13
Check here for
04 May 2008
Take a step
If you have a great ambition,
take as big a step as possible
in the direction of fulfilling it.
The step may only be a tiny one,
but trust that it may be the largest one
possible for now.
Mildred McAfee
03 May 2008
Co-dependency happens in relationships
Codependent relationships are predominantly the domain of women who are engaging in personal relationships with someone who needs help and support. They offer themselves as ‘helpers’ and ’saviours’ and turn into angry persecutors if their attempt to save the ‘other’ fails, which is usually the case.
This dynamic in co-dependent relationships has been described as the drama triangle being played by two people who change the roles of victim, saviour and persecutor.
The term co-dependent relationship was traditionally used for an alcoholic and his or her partner but has lately been applied to a broad range of people who need help such as drug users, criminals, sex addicts, mentally ill, physically ill, and even workaholics who need someone to support them while they “do their thing.”
If you suffer from co-dependency, check out the Ebook ‘Beyond Suffering’
I also offer a distance course on Love starting next Tuesday, May 13
Check here for
02 May 2008
Moving into abundance, love and joy
How about a book that helps people to move beyond the negative view of life into inner abundance, joy and fulfillment?
The book Growing through Joy provides you with tools for transformation on the mental, emotional and physical level.
To move beyond suffering, learn to
- breathe and pulse in your natural way to build up your energy level
- connect with your Higher Self
- remove blockages to your fulfilment
- let go of the past and live in the here and now
- stop being a victim
- get clear on your vision and goals in life
- understand the higher meaning of painful life experiences and to use them to build your inner strength
- stop hurting yourself
- broaden your consciousness and increase your practical intelligence
- set clear boundaries for your protection
- let go of painful childhood experiences
- know your limitations and how to expand them
- improve your physical health and energy level
- release tensions and relax deeply
- see through your own games and the games others play
- use the power of your mind to create the reality that you want
- use the power of your inner guide for direction
- make powerful choices that magically draw into your life the resources you need
- change the monsters of your life (fears, terror, anger, inner criticism) into allies
Or choose the ebook version Beyond suffering here
01 May 2008
Are you suffering from Co-dependency?
Co-dependency refers to an obsessive need for affection, attention and affirmation.
Co-dependent people get easily drawn into the pain and problems of others, feel responsible to help people solve their problems while ignoring their own, look outside themselves for meaning, identity and value, say yes when they mean no and tend to blame others for their own unhappiness, failures and frustrations.
Co-dependency is as much a cultural as a personal phenomenon.
Through childhood and adolescence, movies and hit parades feed us co-dependent relationship ideals as romantic love, Christian ideals as service and care for others, cultural ideals as being a good mother, a caring wife or just a “good? person that cares for other people’s needs more than for one’s own.
If you as a woman wonder about the difference between being ‘good’ or co-dependent check the degree of involvement and the amount of pain you feel. Ask yourself:
• Do I always “have to do something” to help my partner?
• Do I feel burdened by the problems of my partner? Would I like to leave him and yet I do not dare to?
• Am I holding on to my partner even if he has repeated affairs or abandons me while “working at the office"?
If you suffer from co-dependency, check out the Ebook ‘Beyond Suffering’
or check out the distance course on Love starting Tuesday, May 13
Check here for
30 Apr 2008
Gaining wisdom from your mistakes
To gain wisdom from your mistakes instead of feeling like a failure, use the free course on Overcoming Depression And Improving Self Esteem.
The course provides you with information, instructions and tips on
- how to control negative self talk and change your selfimage
- how to establish positive affirmations
- how to expand the filters of your brain
- how to use abdominal breathing and body position to improve self esteem and lift depression
- how to befriend your inner judge and
- how to take good care of yourself and expand your range of activities.
These are crucial factors that will improve your self esteem and allow you to gain wisdom from your mistakes
29 Apr 2008
Distance course on Love
The next distance course on Love will start next Tuesday, May 6
Check here for
28 Apr 2008
The choice between joy and drama
If you had the choice between joy and drama in your life, which would you choose? You would probably say joy. But think about it. Would you really be willing to give up your drama for the sake of joy? Or do you think that joy and drama can exist side by side?
They cannot. Drama and joy exclude each other. Drama is fed by feelings of self-devaluation, suffering and failure. It confirms one’s notion of worthlessness and legitimates one’s suffering. Drama is like a downward spiral, which takes us ever further into the swamp. The further and deeper it grinds down, the more it has the character of a self-destructive addiction.
If you feel that you are caught in a pattern of suffering, check out the Ebook ‘Beyond Suffering’
27 Apr 2008
The gift of kindergarten
All I really need to know about how to live and what to do
and how to be I learned in kindergarten.
Remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned -
the biggest word of all - look.
Share everything. Don’t take things that aren’t yours.
Put things back where you found them.
The world does not need tourists
who ride by in a bus clucking their tongues.
The world as it is needs those
who will love it enough to change it,
with what they have,
where they are.
Be aware of wonder.
Live a balanced life -
learn some and think some
and draw and paint and sing and dance
and play and work every day some.
Leftovers in their less visible form are called memories.
Stored in the refrigerator of the mind and the cupboard of the heart.
And it is still true, no matter how old you are,
when you go out into the world
it is best to hold hands and stick together.
Robert Fulghum
26 Apr 2008
Free course on Finding Your Vision And Living Your Life’s Purpose
I offer a free course on Finding Your Vision And Living Your Life’s Purpose
The course provides you with information, instructions and tips on
- how to find your life purpose and create your vision and goals
- how to use the capacity of your brain to visualise your goals
- how to identify and remove the blocks that hinder you to achieve your goals
- how to determine the steps to reach your gaols
25 Apr 2008
Recognising love addiction and taking the necessary steps
The first step would be to recognise the love addiction as such and then to take the necessary steps to fulfil all those needs that have been delegated to THE ONE. This may require finding out what you can do to be good to yourself, to love yourself and to appreciate the good things in your life.
Another important step is to accept that you may be single for a long time.
Start to develop a wide variety of interests and activities, meet people and make new friends. This will make your company more pleasant, give you practice in developing social skills, and increase your chances of finding a compatible partner to cope with everyday life.
With a good network of friends and acquaintances and exploring new and interesting ways to share your life with them, the emptiness and painful longing will fade away.
If you need support, here is a range of options:
Get the free course on how to improve your self-esteem.
If you love to learn through books, here are two choices
The pocket book version: Growing through Joy
The ebook version: Beyond Suffering
If you want a professional back-up, I offer a distance course on love starting May 6
24 Apr 2008
Who resides on the sunny side of the street?
It is not by accident who resides on the sunny side and the shadow side of the street. You find the key to success in what you think all day. If your thoughts focus on abundance, love and integrity in your actions, this inner state manifests as success in the outer world. If you feel bogged down with worries, failures or fear of the future, you draw misfortune and failure towards you.
Transactional analysis tells us that winner or failure scripts are a combination of imprints, conditions and learned behaviour. The good news is: They are not a destiny but you can change them.
Thanks to Abraham Maslow and other pioneers in the field of transpersonal and quantum psychology we got some good ideas of what distinguishes successful people from those who feel like being the victims of the circumstances.
Successful people influence and shape reality according to their own needs instead of being determined by the ‘facts’ of life. Successful people are creators, not victims of the circumstances. Their attitudes, thoughts and actions are open for the New, flexible enough to respond to the unexpected and basically positive.
Successful people don’t have problems but challenges that need to be resolved. Those challenges activate and inspire all their talents and resources while the concept of problems leads to worrying and being bogged down by the forces of life.
Would you like to be part of that breed of people?
I offer a range of support :
Learn more about life-issues we all deal with by checking out the articles in the section ‘life-issues in focus’ and publications
If you love to learn through books, here are two choices
If you want professional back-up, I offer distance courses on money, love and health that will help you to change the resonance with life-depleting habits and attitudes and create abundance and fulfilment in your life.
Check here for more information
23 Apr 2008
Moving beyond suffering as a habit
During the last years, we got painfully aware how fast life can change with all the catastrophies that happen every year
When suffering has become a quiet accuse that life is unjust and hard, if you feel like a victim of the circumstances, watch out. As a victim, you give your power to the circumstances.
This doesn’t need to be. Suffering as a habit does not need to be a destiny.
You can move beyond it.
You find all you need for it in my
22 Apr 2008
Symptoms of Love addiction
Love addiction can effect all levels
On the physical level, our brain indeed creates a chemical, PEA that creates the thrill and excitement that we experience when we fall in love. When this person drops out of our life the body produces withdrawal symptoms such as shakiness, cramps or loss of appetite.
We all may have experienced such symptoms at the loss of a loved one. In case of love addiction, there is also a desperate need to regain this person or relationship back, accompanied by an increasing sense of guilt or shame about one’s ‘weakness’ to let go of this person.
On an emotional-mental level, being in love makes most people feel good. In case of love addiction, it creates a feeling of being ‘on top of the world’, feeling drunken by love, being euphoric beyond any sense of reality about the steps necessary to turn the attraction into a workable relationship.
When these feelings fade away, the love addict will do anything to regain this love even at the price to submerge their own personality into the loved one by fully identifying with their interests and needs.
If you are wondering if you have anything to do with this theme, check out the list of relationship skills in the free course on Love and Relationships
