Distance Seminars for a selfempowered, meaningful and fulfilled life

Visioform Personal Growth Resources English Homepage :: International Homepage Life Issues In-Focus :: Offers and Products :: About me Free Courses :: Distance Courses :: Life Coaching :: Publications Link Directory :: Blog Visioform Resources :: RSS :: RSS: What is that?

Hello, everybody, and welcome to the free session on 'The courage, to be authentic'.

For those of you who participate for the first time, you will find information on the background and procedure of this work in the frequently asked questions. Click on FAQ in the side menu.

Have a look at one of the Session Reports that will give you an impression what you can expect in the sessions.

You find Research Results about the effect of these courses when you click on Reaearch Results.

You would rather like to know what participants have to say about it? Click on Feedback.

Are you interested in the programs? Check them out. You find an overview and all the themes when you click on 'Program Overview'

For Information on the next available program click on Program Calendar

For conditions and costs, click on conditions and costs in the submenu

I owe many of the affirmations in this report to the work of Chloe Wordsworth on Holographic Repatterning

Content

I Theme

II Summary

III The underlying Structure

1. How inner conflicts effect our body-mind-system
2. Going back to the roots
3. Developing new possibilities

IV Instructions for Constructive Solutions

I. Theme of the session

I sense what's true for me, I allow the voices in me which feel upset, afraid or critical about my inner truth and its consequences to speak to me, and I make decisions that I can integrate and feel comfortable with

II. Summary

A lot of our thinking, feeling and behaviour is determined by systems of condensed experiences that go back to birth and different stages in childhood where those systems got reinforced and affirmed so that they appear to us as the reality of life. In fact, they aren't. But as we resonate with those sets of negative beliefs and feelings, we recreate those experiences as adults and in that way, keep our worldview in place.

The theme of this session points to an inner conflict between our inner needs and our sense of 'what one is supposed to do'. Conflicts that we can't resolve create tension within the organism and may lead to physical symptoms and disease if the stress continues over a longer time period.

If we want to resolve such a conflict, we first need to identify its elements. This can be a tricky task to do on your own as the elements are often held within parts and systems of the body that are difficult to access with our rational mind. Bringing those elements into the light of our awareness is an important step but usually not enough. Just think of all the knowledge you have about healthy food and movement to keep your body fit but are you really doing it all? We usually need to change our resonance with negative programs before we are ready to develop new possibilities.

New possibilities may require your willingness to learn from experience and to change your perspective. To open up to new possibilities may require some continuous daily practice to build up the capacity for containing your energy and direct it in a way that is constructive for you and your environment. Then you may want to explore the world again from this new perspective and be ready to develop new behavioural responses to the challenges of your life so that you can live and be in peace.

This is what we start in this session and will do during the course.

III. The underlying structure

1. How inner conflicts effect our body-mind-system

We are dealing here with an inner conflict, the conflict between our inner needs and our sense of duty. One way to seemingly resolve this conflict is to suppress or deny our needs

I can't allow my needs to become conscious because I wouldn't know how to cope with the conflict between my needs and what I feel I should do

Unfortunately, this strategy doesn't pay off, as it effects not only our body but also restricts our emotions and thinking.

On the physical level, the result of the conflict is:

Stomach ache

My heart beats faster and harder

On the emotional level, the result of the conflict is

I feel powerless, stagnant, guilty, angry and confused

Self-pity

On the mental level, the result of the conflict is

I lack suppleness in my thinking

2. Going back to the roots

As said, a lot of our thinking, feeling and behaviour is determined by systems of condensed experiences that go back to birth and different stages in childhood where those systems got reinforced and affirmed so that they appear to us as the reality of life.

Birth experiences

The roots of the conflict reach back to birth. The following attitudes and feelings may have been the result of your own experience or may have been transmitted through the mother or the birth environment. Even if you don't have any information on your own birth process, you may resonate with any of the following statements.

I cause pain when I get out of a relationship

I fear to hurt people

I am ashamed of myself

The early years

The second root lies in the early years between 2 and 4 where the child's will meets the will first of the mother and then the father. This is a crucial time in childhood for our ability to be authentic. The child needs to practice its 'no' to be able to establish its own identity, and at the same time to find a balance between its own impulses and needs and the needs of others so that it can develop social competence.

This is not an easy task, and its outcome depends on how strong the child is forcing its will and how flexible and empathetic the adults are in response. The memories of that time are usually filled either with power struggles and temper tantrums or withdrawal and resignation. Rarely adults remember to have moved through this phase with a sense of validation, recognition and empowerment.

That's the bad news. The good news is that we as adults have the option to change those conditionings and to develop a strong sense of self-identity and at the same time become sensitive and responsive to other people's needs.

One very effective way to do this is to identify the net of emotions and beliefs that hold negative experiences in place, to replace them with positive beliefs and emotions and create the resonance with those. What resonates within, becomes alive in our outer world.

A basic unmet life need from that time is self-realisation

Basic experiences and resulting beliefs were

When I follow what's right for me, I will be punished, abandoned or left alone

The only way I can get through this is to sacrifice my inner truth

I don't have the resources to make it through

The message we got were:

You have too much energy

Our emotional response to it was:

I feel irritated, melancholic, bitter and vulnerable

And we started to believe:

I am no good

The age of ten: Getting caught between duty and play

This negative set of feelings and beliefs got reinforced around the age of ten, when we felt caught between the pressure of parents, school and/or peers to achieve good results in school and our inner need for playing and exploring the world. We came out of this time with a sense of frustration and fears that are still determining our responses and behaviour today.

I want to play and do so many things but they won't let me

The unmet life need was

Validation and recognition

We responded on the physical level with

I am tense

On the feeling level with

• Discomfort
• A pessimistic outlook
• Fears of peoples judgements
• Fears of being enclosed
• Fears of being self-sufficient
• And fear of old age

On the behavioural level with

Impatience

These negative feelings and beliefs weaken our capacity to contain our energy and to use it wisely and empowering for others and us. Instead we may hold back our feelings until they explode in an uncontrolled way and hurt others or we save our dignity in denying anything that makes us look less than perfect.

I hurt people

I deny anything that makes me look less than good

This is how I feel so this is how I'll act

3. Developing new possibilities

So what instead? We do indeed have the option to change those programs and conditionings. It may require your willingness to learn from experience and to change your perspective

• I learn from experience
• I see others behaviour in the larger context of my learning, and I appreciate them and me
• I think and talk well of others
• I think and talk well of me

It may require some continuous daily practice to build up the capacity for containing your energy and direct it in a way that is constructive for you and your environment. We will do this during the course as this takes time to build up. For now I created the resonance with the freedom to move within all the realms and to find the right balance between work and play and between your needs and the needs of others

• I freely move within the physical, emotional and mental realm
• By interacting with friends in new and interesting ways, I become self-confident, knowledgeable, empowered and true to myself
• It is okay to feel and want what I feel and want, and at the same time I can also listen to the needs and feelings of others and respond to them appropriately
• I do my duties in my own rhythm, balancing play and duty in such a way that I feel comfortable, fulfilled and deeply satisfied

It may require to explore the world again from this new perspective and to develop new behavioural responses to the challenges of your life so that you can be in peace

• I follow my impulse to explore the outer and the inner world
• I am adaptable
• I am in peace with my environment and myself

IV. Instructions for Constructive Solutions

Within this section during the course you will find a broad range of suggestions and techniques. They aim to assist you to integrate these sessions into your everyday life.

The focus will be on:

• building up your energy level,
• changing your belief system,
• getting into resonance with positive attitudes and feelings,
• strengthening your capacity to deal with conflicts within yourself and with others, owning your femininity and masculinity and
• developing behavioural responses that will make love a delight rather than a fright.

Those suggestions will cover all levels: the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. You are free to choose what fits your needs and your pace.

As you apply those suggestions on a continuous base, you establish new attitudes, feelings and behavioural patterns that will weaken the negative programs and resolve them in the end. This requires a series of sessions as offered within the course program.