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Hello, everybody, and welcome to the free session on "Love - Delight or Fright?"

For those of you who participate for the first time, you will find information on the background and procedure of this work in the frequently asked questions. Click on FAQ in the side menu.

Have a look at one of the Session Reports that will give you an impression what you can expect in the sessions.

You find Research Results about the effect of these courses when you click on Reaearch Results.

You would rather like to know what participants have to say about it? Click on Feedback.

Are you interested in the programs? Check them out. You find an overview and all the themes when you click on 'Program Overview'

For Information on the next available program click on Program Calendar

For conditions and costs, click on conditions and costs in the submenu

I owe many of the affirmations in this report to the work of Chloe Wordsworth on Holographic Repatterning

Content

I Theme

II Summary

III The underlying Structure

1. The polarity of relationships
2. Polarising through conflicts
3. Developing healthy patterns in relationships
4. Seasonal influence

IV Instructions for Constructive Solutions

I Theme

I fully live my femininity/masculinity in all its wonderful and rich aspects. I draw those people into my life that add to my vitality, joy, love and fulfilment and whose life I enrich through my qualities.

II Summary

If we want to live our femininity and masculinity in all its rich and wonderful aspects in our relationships, we need to re-establish the natural polarity of masculine and feminine energy roles within the order of love.

Relationships between genders are about polarities, the polarity between the feminine and masculine energy role. We tend to assign them to men and women but we all have this polarity in us and find it in relationships with the opposite and the same gender, where one part holds one side and the other part the other.

There are obvious confusions and misunderstandings within this realm. We are reacting to stereotyped images of men and women and the sexual repression of the last centuries. This creates intense feelings of frustration, stress, disappointment and conflicts in our relationships.

To get beyond them, we need to re-establish the natural order of love. This requires some work on our side: strengthening the masculine and feminine energy roles, our capacity to handle conflicts and improving the relationship with ourselves

III The underlying Structure

1. The polarity of relationships

We perceive reality in terms of polarity. We recognise the day because of the night, pleasure because of pain, peace because of war. The tension between the two poles is life. In nature, the tension between a positive and a negative pole creates a flow of energy such as electricity.

In relationships the basic tension is between the feminine and masculine pole. In our body-mind-system as well as in our relationships, the masculine charge flows out from its energy centre (chakra) into action. The feminine charge attracts and brings the energy back into the centre to recharge it. We all have both poles in us no matter if we are men or women. We experience health, well being and harmony in our relationships when the outward and inward flow of energy is balanced.

If there is a block in the feminine side of the flow, we may experience problems in the left side, front or lower part of the body (feet, legs and pelvis). If the masculine side is blocked, we may experience problems in the right side, back or upper part of the body, especially in the head.

If the equilibrium is disturbed, nature will find a way to compensate for this disturbance. If we look at relationships we recognise basically two ways of compensation.

If a man projects feminine energy, he may compensate by attracting a woman with strong masculine energy but may feel unfulfilled in his masculine side. If a woman projects masculine energy she may compensate by attracting a man with strong feminine energy but may feel unfulfilled in her feminine side. If both project masculine energy, there will be fights, competition and often separation.

On the other hand, there is also a tendency to attract what we are projecting. For example, if we reject ourselves, we may attract a partner who rejects us. If we put ourselves down, we may attract a partner who demeans us. The partner does not need to be the opposite gender. It can be someone of the same gender who carries the other aspect of the polarity. A feminine woman may attract a woman with masculine energy. A feminine man may attract a man with masculine energy, and vice versa.

If we understand the positive and negative charge, we can use the polarity of the masculine and feminine as a source of energy, revitalisation and fulfilment rather than a source of tension and conflict.

2. Polarising through Conflicts

In our culture, the healthy tension between the two poles of the masculine and the feminine got either neutralised or changed into opposites. Opposites mean an either-or position. A polarity is two poles within a unified whole. We can express it as an 'as-well-as'.

Relationships between genders are about polarities, the polarity between the feminine and masculine energy role. We tend to assign them to men and women but often, esp. in relationships with the same gender, one part holds one side and the other part the other. For that reason I refer to energies and not genders. To avoid any misunderstandings, I will use the term feminine energy partner and masculine energy partner. Both can apply to women or men and to relationships of opposite and the same gender.

There are obvious confusions and misunderstandings within this realm. We are reacting to stereotyped images of men and women and the sexual repression of the last centuries. This creates intense feelings and conflicts in our relationships.

The pre-dominant feelings among the participants of this session are disappointment, confusion, frustration, stress and resentment. On the body level, they manifest as heart pain, stomach-aches or headaches that can be so strong that it brings about a sense of nausea.

The pre-dominant conflict styles are either avoidance of conflicts or the discharge of anger.

I feel better expressing my anger even if it hurts

After creating a storm of feelings, I feel better, closer and more bonded to my partner

3. Creating healthy patterns in relationships

We need to re-establish the natural order of male and female roles and parental responsibilities, which may sound and feel quite unfamiliar to you. Instead of reacting to the following section, just take the time to reflect upon and feel into it. It takes courage to move beyond cultural conditioning and fully own our femininity and masculinity within the order of love.

Strengthening the masculine and feminine energy roles.

The feminine needs more masculine energy

I attract (a) male energy partner(s) to polarise my feminine energy

The masculine needs to listen better to the needs of the feminine

I listen, accept, honour and revere the feelings of my female energy partner ahead of my own

I listen without trying to fix when my partner has painful feelings s(he) needs to express

I understand that my feminine energy partner needs to be given lots of affection before (s)he will open up

Both partners need the flexibility to shift masculine and feminine energy roles in the situation where required

If necessary we signal a role change out of our predominant masculine-feminine energy

This can mean that the female energy partner says: I have an idea, do you want to hear it? Or the masculine energy partner says: I have some feelings, will you listen? Traditionally, the mental realm is assigned to the masculine principle and the emotional realm to the feminine principle.

Strengthening our capacity to handle conflicts

We are all different and more often than not we do have different opinions. This is perfectly okay as long as we feel safe and secure in ourselves. Then we can allow others to be as they are without feeling threatened by it.

I agree to disagree

In some families, conflicts get violent because one party feels they get only heard if they scream louder than the other side

I trust I will be heard

Of course, the opposite is usually the case as this creates a vicious circle of aggression building and trying to overcome the other

When I next get into a conflict I get in touch with my feelings and express them in a way that my partner can hear them

We need to confirm that the present is not the past and that today we can handle those situations in a different way

In the present I have the resources to handle this situation

Strengthening the relationship to ourselves

If we are discontent with our life or who and how we are we tend to expect from our partners to fill in the 'blanks'. This may work for some time but usually it turns into the opposite when the infatuation hits reality and creates the feelings and conflicts that I addressed above.

If we didn't get our basic needs met as children, we compensate to get at least enough attention for survival. The compensations that are most important for the participants is this session are caretaking, submissiveness, denial and being tough. These attitudes are passed on to us through family generations. They absorb energy so we can't unfold our full potential and develop relationships that bring fulfilment and joy.

Caretaking

For a Caretaker, life may be full of crisis, as sympathy - given or received - is a substitute for love. In that case, you may believe that you won't get love when everything is running smoothly

I am loved even when life is going well

Submissiveness:

You may have learned that you have to give in to get attention and love. Historically, this has been a pre-dominant pattern for women but today men have been catching up

I feel safe and loved when I am positively self-assertive

Tough:

We get tough when all we can get is negative attention. We know from research that negative attention is better than no attention at all. If that's all what is available we will create those situations

I thrive on positive attention and handle negative attention

Denial:

If life events feel too painful, we blank them out. The price we pay is that we then also deny ourselves the joy and love that is available

It is okay to feel my pain and feel joy and love as well

4. Seasonal influences

When the season changes, we need to rebalance our body-mind-system to adjust to those changes, as we are part of nature. This kind of perception has been very alive in the Eastern healing traditions such as Chinese Medicine or Indian Ayurveda Medicine. They work with a concept of five elements that is underlying the visible form. The elements are connected to the seasons. The element of late summer is the Earth, which we need to rebalance.

We experience that lack of balance as a lack of taking care of our needs in our thoughts, feelings and relationships.

My thoughts and ideas go in a circle never getting anywhere

I fail to take care of my needs

There is a lack of good will for needs to be met

In order to rebalance the seasonal influence and the polarity between the genders I used breath work and work with sound frequencies. In the end, the resonance was given for all the positive statements (in bold) and dissolved for all the negative ones (plain text)

IV. Instructions for Constructive Solutions

Within this section during the course you will find a broad range of suggestions and techniques. They aim to assist you to integrate these sessions into your everyday life.

The focus will be on:

• building up your energy level,
• changing your belief system,
• getting into resonance with positive attitudes and feelings,
• strengthening your capacity to deal with conflicts within yourself and with others, owning your femininity and masculinity and
• developing behavioural responses that will make love a delight rather than a fright.

Those suggestions will cover all levels: the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. You are free to choose what fits your needs and your pace.

As you apply those suggestions on a continuous base, you establish new attitudes, feelings and behavioural patterns that will weaken the negative programs and resolve them in the end. This requires a series of sessions as offered within the course program.