Life Issues In-Focus - Overcoming Abuse
Do you want to shift energetic patterns that hold abusive thought forms, emotions and habits in place?
Abuse is about power and control instead of respect and love. Abuse involves an abuser and a victim. We usually think of men as the abuser and women as the abused. In my work I met quite a few men who have been abused, sexually by men and emotionally by women.
Abuse can happen on the physical, sexual, emotional or verbal level. Emotional and verbal abuse is just more subtle and harder to identify as there are no obvious signs like broken bones or black eyes.
You don't need to have been the immediate victim of abuse to suffer from it. You may have witnessed an abusive situation or may have taken on the energy and the behavioural pattern from a parent who has suffered from it.
Adults who had to deal with abuse as children in one of those ways are more likely to go along with abusive conditions in relationships than people who have grown up in healthy conditions.
Abuse has been passed on through many generations. Each abuser has been a victim at some point in their life. And each victim can become an abuser. We are dealing with a generational chain that we have the chance to overcome if we become conscious of these cycles and break free from them.
This is easier said than done.
Abuse in childhood can have far reaching consequences that may take many years to overcome.
In all cases of abuse, boundaries got invaded and need to be re-established. With good boundaries you can regulate closeness and distance, stay in your own identity but are also able to connect intimately with another person.
Abuse at an early age disrupts the developmental process or may even bring it to a halt. It may be necessary to retrain basic functions such as breathing, reaching out for what you want, defend your space against invasion, stand on your own feet in life and be able to let go of control with an intimate partner.
This requires trust. Children do trust adults. If this trust gets abused, it will take time and discrimination to trust people and life again.
In cases of severe trauma you need to seek professional help that will support you to rebuild your inner structure, create healthy boundaries, strengthen your self esteem and make sure that you learn to recognise and stop abusive behaviour
In cases of emotional abuse, a first resource may be the walk to a bookstore or library or a click through the Internet to find out more about the symptoms of abuse and the underlying dynamics.
Talk to others who have had similar experiences. This can be a life-changing step as it confirms your perception and will help you to trust yourself and your own experiences. There are women's and men's help lines that you find on the Internet, or you may consult with your local medical or mental health agencies.
I offer books, free articles and a free course with suggestions of what you can do to cope with such a situation. Just click the links in the main menu
In my Ebook: Beyond suffering (Printversion: Growing through Joy) you will find a comprehensive description of the different stages of love with its own qualities and challenges to give you a braoder view of the context of how to overcome abuse. You will also find a hands-on manual in this book on how to strengthen a positive Self |
